Trying To Get It Together

Secrets Of Change

From the book, My Own Worst Enemy, some quotes are paraphrased.

“Change is easier when you selectively focus your efforts.  Trying to pull off multiple changes simultaneously is the kiss of death.” I am still trying to fight this idea but after reading the first 107 pages of the book where the author continues to nail my personality traits, habits and tendencies, I have to relent to his advice. “Do not overreach. …if for no other reason than that your attention is limited.”

“To change you must adopt an appropriate long-range perspecitve.  Speed seems important, but is not always the point.”   I can wait years to develop camera film but not want to wait a day so I spend extra for 1 hour photo.  This is also why I gravitate toward the Atkins diet, quick results.  “Emphasizing speed leaves you open to skipping vital steps.”

“Change requires that you persist even when your efforts are having no apparent effect other than disruption in your life.”  Bamboo trees sit for years and then sprout wildly and quickly.

“You cannot change the past.  Which is actually best, one less thing to do.”  This is the first day of the rest of your life.

“Chaos and setbacks are proof that you are changing.”  That point was a hard one for me though I know it is true with children.  When parents or caretakers change routines or discipline, the child will rebel even harder causing the parents to think it isn’t working.  Even watching the Nanny TV shows you see this.  The behavior exacerbates as the child is trying to enforce their will but it will almost always subside.

“The problem is not, nor ever has been or will be who you are.  The problem is always what you choose to do.”  I have noticed that even the smallest of actions outside of my normal habits feel good, though not usually good enough to continue them.

“Change requires that you become fully engaged for a period of contemplation, preparation and decisive action followed by continuing maintenance.”  That last step eludes me because the novelty usually wears off.  I like change and new things but after a while I get bored and want to move on to something else, or a new idea.

“Change is not something that happens to you; it is something that you do.”  There is a problem in here for me.  The best things that have happened to me happened to me by luck or fate it seems.  The things I pushed for rarely happened or went right.  Right or wrong this is how I see life for me.  I have received most of the things I wanted in life by waiting for them.  I don’t know how to reconcile this issue.

“Failure is necessary for learning.”  I absolutely hate to fail which is why at times I don’t try, which is addressed in the book.  Failure does feel fatal at times.  I am very guarded about my failures.

More on change later, I need to read some more.

I Still Haven’t Made A Plan

I am proving the point or at least finding my weakness.  Week 3 is beginning and I still haven’t made a true written plan.  I did continue to read “Your Own Worst Enemy” and it continues to describe me to a “t.”

I will continue to read through it and work on exercises this week but so far my (non) plan is a failure.

This Is Hard

I remember a line from the movie “8 Mile” where Eminem says

“Do you ever wonder at what point you got to stop living up here and start living down here?”

If feel like that often.  Even though I was jazzed to try this experiment it just seems that thing after thing hits me.  I want to be that guy who stands back up and says, “I won’t be defeated.”  I don’t know how much longer I can honestly keep saying that.

Losing Steam

As it seems to happen, I lost my focus over the weekend even with Twitter.  Sunday was a wasted day after I had high hopes.  I am back and have done some good things.

I am counting calories, getting progress at work and working on my scheduling.  I am not having the success that I would like to have at this point but I have 3 more weeks.

I will be gone this weekend most likely.  If I do go, hopefully history repeats itself and I will come back with a lot of focus.  Previous have had that effect if even for a short spell.

Changing In A Second

So far I guess I have proved it isn’t possible for me in the most literal sense.  Even by the definition I held, I said you could make the change in an instant which I have obviously not done.  But the change has started and we will see if I can make the overall changes in the next 3 weeks.

I have only had soda once, at happy hour where they require a beverage purchase.  Of course later I realized that I could pay that and drink water but didn’t.  Habit.  This is actually big for me as I consume a ton of soda.

I had one donut and no other sweets all week.  Very big.

I woke early yesterday and today.  I have made positive changes that I believe I will be able to wade through until they are habits.

I need to make two lists this weekend.  Life goals and life paths which I think have their own distinctions.

My goal may be to travel to NY but my path is how I get there.  I want to lose weight but what will I be eating for the rest of my life.  I want to be stronger but what plan do I have to maintain it.  I want to speak Spanish better what techniques will I use to learn and continue to practice it.

I think these are valid differences and just as Tim talked about knowing what to do after retirement, you have to know what you will do after you have reached a goal.

Have a good weekend.

Wednesday

I have trouble keeping up when there are tentative appointments.  I is difficult for me to get things done with these appointments hanging over my head.  I need to work on that.

Pondering the idea of change with a decision Twist posted a link to a guy who one day started walking just to the sink and back.  Tried broccoli and liked it.  The next day cauliflower and liked that.  He went on to lose about 600 pounds in 5 years to the amazement of his doctor.

They guy is admittedly obsessive compulsive which I think can work if pointed in the right way.  I have been doing good so far. I slipped and bought a donut while shopping hungry at the store but overall I bought good food.

I did have trouble getting myself to bed after playing basketball late last night.  Tomorrow I will start a schedule of waking up earlier and will try to keep that path from here on.

Up Until Now

I had a decent evening.  I was dogged tired and finally realized that I was tired, not just lacking focus.  I played basketball and almost went home skipping the typical gathering afterwards.

If anything else, the main thing I worked to change is developing my friendships.  Ignoring them would have been contradictory to what I want.  I ate as healthy as I could.  Then I went home, did some laundry and went to bed earlier than I have recently.

I still woke up tired and wonder if I am not sick.  Work is picking up.  Hopefully the Law of Attraction works.

Oh and I had the most amazing dream last night.  It was very realistic then movie-like.  Something in my dream that I could not imagine doing in real life.  It gave me something to ponder.

Still loving Twitter.

Focus and Twitter

I picked up Twitter on a lark after seeing them on other sites.  Didn’t know what I would do with it but I have ended up finding it to being an accountability buddy.

I have wanted to break some good habits or momentum but then I think of writing in Twitter.  I write about it and it keeps me on task reminding me of what I want to do.  That is really the problem with me.  I will have a moment of clarity and strength then I will use my powers of procrastination to say, “I will do this tomorrow,” for avoidance.

Twitter keeps my goals in my mind.  I actually dreamt of using Twitter, that is how much it had excited my mind.  Out of reflex I have bought a soda during lunch and starting drinking before I remembered that I was “focusing” on my goals.  Sounds silly but I would just forget.

Even after this experiment is over, win or lose I will keep Twitter.  I have a “Monkey Mind” as they call it in Buddhism and being able to throw thoughts on to Twitter will let me organize them later.

Almost 24 hours and I am still excited.  I’m doing 90% better than I usually do with my plans.

This May Work

I was concerned that this would distract me more than help me.  This blog is helping me focus and keep in forefront in my mind.  I think I have a good chance though it has only been 12 hours.

Set up to fail?

I probably have but that isn’t the right attitude is it?  I realize setting up the blog is the same situation of the bells and whistles that distract me in other times I have tried to change.

I have bought PDA’s, set up computers, copied plans, etc and it was usually to kill time before I got to the real work.  I should have just set this up on a wordpress blog which would have saved time setting it up with workcandy.  Still free but I thought it would be fun to do it on my friend’s site.  Only he knows my middle name so I don’t think anyone else would know me, much less stumble upon this sub site.

I set up Twitter, Joe’s goals and will probably do other things.  I tell myself in the back of my head that I have good reasons to do this while the side of my head says I am wasting time.  I guess if this experiment fails the side of my head can tell the back of my head to shut up once and for all.

I plan to read through the book My Own Worst Enemy while I do this.  I will try (I know what Yoda says) to do what it says, except for that part of massive change.