“Change is easier when you selectively focus your efforts.  Trying to pull off multiple changes simultaneously is the kiss of death.” I am still trying to fight this idea but after reading the first 107 pages of the book where the author continues to nail my personality traits, habits and tendencies, I have to relent to his advice. “Do not overreach. …if for no other reason than that your attention is limited.”

“To change you must adopt an appropriate long-range perspecitve.  Speed seems important, but is not always the point.”   I can wait years to develop camera film but not want to wait a day so I spend extra for 1 hour photo.  This is also why I gravitate toward the Atkins diet, quick results.  “Emphasizing speed leaves you open to skipping vital steps.”

“Change requires that you persist even when your efforts are having no apparent effect other than disruption in your life.”  Bamboo trees sit for years and then sprout wildly and quickly.

“You cannot change the past.  Which is actually best, one less thing to do.”  This is the first day of the rest of your life.

“Chaos and setbacks are proof that you are changing.”  That point was a hard one for me though I know it is true with children.  When parents or caretakers change routines or discipline, the child will rebel even harder causing the parents to think it isn’t working.  Even watching the Nanny TV shows you see this.  The behavior exacerbates as the child is trying to enforce their will but it will almost always subside.

“The problem is not, nor ever has been or will be who you are.  The problem is always what you choose to do.”  I have noticed that even the smallest of actions outside of my normal habits feel good, though not usually good enough to continue them.

“Change requires that you become fully engaged for a period of contemplation, preparation and decisive action followed by continuing maintenance.”  That last step eludes me because the novelty usually wears off.  I like change and new things but after a while I get bored and want to move on to something else, or a new idea.

“Change is not something that happens to you; it is something that you do.”  There is a problem in here for me.  The best things that have happened to me happened to me by luck or fate it seems.  The things I pushed for rarely happened or went right.  Right or wrong this is how I see life for me.  I have received most of the things I wanted in life by waiting for them.  I don’t know how to reconcile this issue.

“Failure is necessary for learning.”  I absolutely hate to fail which is why at times I don’t try, which is addressed in the book.  Failure does feel fatal at times.  I am very guarded about my failures.

More on change later, I need to read some more.

I have bought PDA’s, set up computers, copied plans, etc and it was usually to kill time before I got to the real work.  I should have just set this up on a wordpress blog which would have saved time setting it up with workcandy.  Still free but I thought it would be fun to do it on my friend’s site.  Only he knows my middle name so I don’t think anyone else would know me, much less stumble upon this sub site.

I set up Twitter, Joe’s goals and will probably do other things.  I tell myself in the back of my head that I have good reasons to do this while the side of my head says I am wasting time.  I guess if this experiment fails the side of my head can tell the back of my head to shut up once and for all.

I plan to read through the book My Own Worst Enemy while I do this.  I will try (I know what Yoda says) to do what it says, except for that part of massive change.

I have done little.

Made lots of plans, wasted a lot of paper and don’t have much to show for it. In my 30’s, feeling like I kind of wasted the last 10 or so years. Sure I have experiences and memories. But did I really even touch my potential? If I had the courage to really let anyone know how I am doing in life I would guess they would say no, if they were honest.

As a procrastinator I come up with a lot of excuses and set myself up to fail at things in such a way that I will have a perfect excuse. Clever but unproductive. So here it is-

I have 4 weeks to prove that I can change my life on a dime or in an instant.

If I don’t, I have to follow tried and true methods of long processes which honestly if I had followed any of them I would be much ahead. Think tortoise vs hare scenario.

But my belief that I could change quickly and do all of these things that I know I should gave me the false confidence that I could go on with bad (not illegal) habits but that I would change tomorrow. (Did you know that tomorrow never comes?)

I believe in myself, as a theory. I don’t believe I will actually succeed. That is some hard honesty to swallow. There are two books that I have caused me more thought in the last 9 months than any before.

Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement is a book that pinpointed me so well that I sat it on a shelf and said, “Yeah, I should do some of that some time.” Page after page it described me and like listening to a sad song I just felt bad.

It talks about high potential people who for some reason don’t achieve, well there are reasons. One thing writes about is to not do what I am trying here. Massive change quickly. If I fail, I will follow his book and admit I am wrong.

But I have never tried REALLY hard, which is a symptom he speaks about in his book. One of those things that allows be to sidestep the “Failure” label. This blog, while I have reasons to do it such as maybe if I get feedback from others it will keep me going, is a huge trap. But I feel this will be my last attempt at quick change if I fail.

Another book is The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich. Tim Ferris has done so much in his short life, length of life and results in comparison to mine, it is almost shameful. He wrote in his blog this weekend a challenge to write what you would do with the rest of your life if you retired now.

Well crap, I am so far away for so many reasons that I will write about it later.

So this blog will either be a tale of triumph or failure but either way I will know the answer to my question about changing in moment, with a decision.

-Glenn