I will continue to read through it and work on exercises this week but so far my (non) plan is a failure.

I have done little.

Made lots of plans, wasted a lot of paper and don’t have much to show for it. In my 30’s, feeling like I kind of wasted the last 10 or so years. Sure I have experiences and memories. But did I really even touch my potential? If I had the courage to really let anyone know how I am doing in life I would guess they would say no, if they were honest.

As a procrastinator I come up with a lot of excuses and set myself up to fail at things in such a way that I will have a perfect excuse. Clever but unproductive. So here it is-

I have 4 weeks to prove that I can change my life on a dime or in an instant.

If I don’t, I have to follow tried and true methods of long processes which honestly if I had followed any of them I would be much ahead. Think tortoise vs hare scenario.

But my belief that I could change quickly and do all of these things that I know I should gave me the false confidence that I could go on with bad (not illegal) habits but that I would change tomorrow. (Did you know that tomorrow never comes?)

I believe in myself, as a theory. I don’t believe I will actually succeed. That is some hard honesty to swallow. There are two books that I have caused me more thought in the last 9 months than any before.

Your Own Worst Enemy: Breaking the Habit of Adult Underachievement is a book that pinpointed me so well that I sat it on a shelf and said, “Yeah, I should do some of that some time.” Page after page it described me and like listening to a sad song I just felt bad.

It talks about high potential people who for some reason don’t achieve, well there are reasons. One thing writes about is to not do what I am trying here. Massive change quickly. If I fail, I will follow his book and admit I am wrong.

But I have never tried REALLY hard, which is a symptom he speaks about in his book. One of those things that allows be to sidestep the “Failure” label. This blog, while I have reasons to do it such as maybe if I get feedback from others it will keep me going, is a huge trap. But I feel this will be my last attempt at quick change if I fail.

Another book is The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich. Tim Ferris has done so much in his short life, length of life and results in comparison to mine, it is almost shameful. He wrote in his blog this weekend a challenge to write what you would do with the rest of your life if you retired now.

Well crap, I am so far away for so many reasons that I will write about it later.

So this blog will either be a tale of triumph or failure but either way I will know the answer to my question about changing in moment, with a decision.

-Glenn